Friday 2 May 2014

"Combat" or "Survival" Mode?

My children are Minecraft Mad. All of them.

My eldest has taught himself to code to a pretty high level and built his own website from scratch, hosting his Minecraft Servers at MCSquared (Currently taking his GCSEs though, check back in the summer for an impressive redevelopment!) and builds worlds as JJtCool on YouTube . He was the creator of SkyWars a few years back and SkyWars2.0 which are played, viewed, shared and hosted worldwide. He even got a mention at Minecon2013. Quite an achievement.



Son number two is almost as fanatical and the twins are catching on fast. I must admit, whilst I don't want any of them stuck in front of a screen for too long, they could do worse. Minecraft encourages social interaction, improves social skills and if you are building worlds there is some GCSE level physics involved. As for coding a website  - his Dad's team at work had all come across him on YouTube independently he's getting headhunted already...

H speaks endlessly on his favourite topics, Minecraft being one of them. He will relate the different options and modes and I am beginning to feel I know far more than any parent strictly should.

Something he said yesterday early made me think though - he is incredibly perceptive.

Tough Week
We've had a *really* tough week here. A had surgery at Gt Ormond Street Hospital last monday (only minor, but an overnight stay was involved and the planning and preparation needed was pretty "epic". R had laser eye surgery for his glaucoma and we've had the worry hanging over us that J had a possible, but very serious heart condition. Thanks to an overly zealous GP, and the truism that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" his normal ECG was misinterpreted and we were told he needed an urgent cardiology referral. (Thankfully we have private health insurance which we sometimes use - it is invaluable at times like this since he would have had this worry hanging over him for the duration of his GCSEs and had to stop running.) 

Anyway, before Godparents, Grandparents and concerned others get on the phone - he's FINE. More than fine actually, so fit and healthy his lean, tall, athletic build is causing high voltage ECG traces and a low BP. Impressive. But stressful - and very, very scary.

http://lifeinthefastlane.com/ecg-library/basics/left-ventricular-hypertrophy/


Then there have been an insane number of appointments and meetings, to the point that I found myself sat in the phlebotomy clinic (blood tests) the other day troughing my way through a jumbo sized bag of chocolate buttons. Which I bought. And finished. By myself.

Those of you who know me will understand why this is significant but suffice to say my stress levels have been pretty high! Now you wouldn't necessarily expect someone on the Autism Spectrum to notice emotion in others - but H does. Or maybe he isn't noticing the emotion, rather the pattern of behaviour? In any case he is usually the first to register my rising stress levels.

High Anxiety
For someone on the Spectrum, high levels of anxiety are a norm, and it doesn't take much to trip someone in that state into "meltdown". It's the reason little things (the "final straw") can set off disproportionate responses, explained so eloquently in Alison's Blog here. What is particularly poignant is that Alison is 14, yet has an incredibly understanding of her identity.

H is like this all the time. Constantly anxious, working in parallel on several ideas/thoughts/problems at once, all piled up. Autistic people do seem single minded - but that extreme focus is actually often to drown out the overloading below it they find unbearable. it's a coping mechanism.

And that's exactly what H thinks I need. A way of fending off the stress rather than  trying to cope with it. In a wonderfully idiosyncratic,  acutely perceptive observation on the situation he told me
"You need to drop out of "Survival mode" and try "Combat mode" instead".
Of course I do. Why didn't I think of that?

Fighting Back 
So that's just what I am doing. Back in organisational hyperdrive and tackling life head on once more.   And when "Survival Mode" really is the only option it often pays to take a back seat and find some humour somewhere - anywhere in the situation.

So I'll leave you with my youngest son, who having recovered sufficiently from his surgery wanted to make his dad laugh. We made this picture together and emailed our printer - frightening the life out of R who was sitting next to it, working. "Awesome!"





MummyNeverSleeps

43 comments:

  1. That sounds like a horrendous week! Alison will be thrilled with the link, thank you.

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  2. Oh just look at him with that cute bear .x

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  3. Oh that does sound like a stressful week! Archie looks so cute! Hope next week is a bit calmer for you all

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  4. You have the strength of a 100 mums - what a tough week you've had... sending much love xx

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  5. What a cutie. I'm sorry that you have had such a stressful week, I hope things improve x

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  6. A very stressful week. I hope things are a bit easier in the week to come xx

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  7. really hope this week is far less stressful for you xx

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  8. Hope this week is less stressful, what a clever son you have getting his minecraft mention, hope his GCSEs go well. Glad Archie is ok too #letkidsbekids

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  9. I hope everyone is ok, what a week you have had. Hope this week is a good one for you all x

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  10. Hope this week is a less stressful one for you x

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  11. I hope things settle down and your son recovers soon. kids are tougher than we think.

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  12. Such a perceptive comment - and very true, we do need to switch modes to deal with different things in life. Good luck with the combat!

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  13. I agree with noticing patterns of behaviour rather than the emotions themselves. My son is the same. Sending feeling better hugs and hope next week is a calmer one for you x

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  14. I hope things get a bit calmer for you. Cute photo, hope he's ok now.
    Thanks for linking #LetKidsBeKids

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  15. I can not imagine what you have been though. I hope for a calmer coupld of weeks for you and both my boys are minecraft obsessed

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  16. I don't know how you keep it together, you are obviously a very strong woman!

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  17. Aww sorry for your tough week. It does sound very stressful. It's good your boys have found something they are so obviously talented at and yes I too believe they could a whole lot worse than playing minecraft! I'll tell my son to look out for you sons youtube channel I think he'd enjoy it :)

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  18. I know nothing about Mine-Craft my boys are obsessing about Skylanders at the moment. I hope things get better for you and your family, there's light at the end of the tunnel so to say. If Mine-craft helps that's brilliant, I hope your outlet is blogging, all my best.

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  19. Sounds like a very stressful week and glad that things have turned around and you son has no problems. Love the hospital shot of Archie and Harry Bear - now what did those naughty surgeons do with their clothes??

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  20. What a stressful week you've had - I hope you're relaxing a bit now!

    My two love Minecraft too, I'm going to ask them if they've seen your son's YouTube vids x

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  21. That certainly does sound stressful, go plate was definitely required.
    My two are playing Minecraft as I type this - they love it!

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  22. Aww I love his observation. My son seems to get anxious over everything and like you say can become very focussed on one thing to try and drown out the worries. The poor wee pets have so much going through their heads!

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  23. Sounds like a hard week, but what a fantastic thing to say about Survival Mode. Totally agree about there being far worse things than Minecraft that they could be playing by the way. Also, great photo. Thanks for linking up #FamilyFriday

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  24. Ooh man, what a nightmare week for you all. It always comes at once, doesn't it? What a brilliant boy you have, I LOVE the sound of combat mode - where do I sign up? :) Thanks so much for joining in!

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  25. wow what a tough week! He is such a cutie with his teddy bear xx

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  26. I am so glad that it all turned out okay heart wise. My link up is on something similar. I so get survival mode ha #allthesmallthings x

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  27. What a perceptive boy, combat mode, I'll definately remember that, a tough week eh, hope this one is better x

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  28. Such a difficult week, no wonder you're in organisational hyper-drive - that'd be my go-to place, too. Love that picture x

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  29. Or you could even try peaceful mode! I too have a Minecraft mad spectrum dweller! I will have to ask him if he knows your sons work - I would hazard a guess he will have come across him on YouTube. I often think MineCraft is such a perfect game for special boys like ours, a world in which they get to control everything is my sons dream come true, although at just ten he is a bit behind your sons achievements. What a tough week, hope this week is less stressful x

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  30. Combat mode! What a brilliant principle...Might just give it a go!
    Here's to a less stressful week

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  31. I hope things pick up after such a stressful week for you all. My boys are Minecraft mad but I think it does encourage creativity and patience, much better than some of the other games they could be playing x #letkidsbekids

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  32. That sounds incredibly stressful! Glad all ok now...
    #LetKidsBeKids
    @katgrant30 (Bumps & Grind)

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  33. What a stressful week. My children love Minecraft and it is amazing how they create this new world. I hope this week gets easier. Like you say it might be the pattern in your behaviour your son is noticing. Either way, it is a good thing that he is noticing

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  34. I realy dont know what to say but I am in awe with mothers who can juggle so many things at one. Like you this week. And behind a strong woman is a supportive family. I am so proud of H (even if he is not my son) & how he sees things =) #MBPW

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  35. Glad things have worked out well on the health front, must have been very stressful. My kids are both Minecraft addicts as well, but as long as they don't spend too much time on it, I'm quite happy for them to play. #letkidsbekids

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  36. It sounds like you have all had a really busy week, hopefully the coming week will be a bit calmer for you all.

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  37. Goodness, what a week! We have 2 Minecraft obsessed children too - it can get a bit much at times (encouraging stroppy behaviour) but as long as I monitor the time spent on it, I do think it's educational and good for the imagination. I hope your boy gets better very quickly. #POCOLO

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  38. Woah lady, that is a week from hell! I love your sons minecraft take on life, I think he's right too. Hope the coming week is a little easier xx

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  39. Hi Kate! I've nominated you for a Liebster Award! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please see my latest post on Monday which will explain what I'm going on about! http://apronsandshoestrings.com
    Thanks! Laura xx

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  40. Hope next week is a bit calmer for you x

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  41. Now I don't know Minecraft but I did used to do Runescape which isn't un-similar I think! Here is hoping for calmer times ahead x

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  42. so glad you have come out smiling! My 7 yo has just discovered Minecraft... he loves it already so I need to get his PC working again or I lose my laptop ;-) Hope everyone's health is on the up.

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  43. What a very stressful week but BLESS your boy, that is such a wonderful photo and I love his happy smiley face. My nephew is addicted to minecraft! I have absolutely no clue about it!! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

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Many thanks for taking the time to comment, I really value your responses.

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